Resistance to Care


What to Do When an Older Adult Refuses to Pay for Care

Many of today’s older adults grew up during the Great Depression. They lived through a time when the country was cutting corners and pinching pennies. Frugality was embedded in many of them at an early age and quite often remains firmly in place for life.

So what can you do when an older adult refuses to pay for care, even though they clearly are in need of care at home and have the financial ability to pay for the care?

First, empathize. Understand that the person’s perspective is valid and determined by past life experiences. If the older adult seems to be resistant to the idea of spending money for the care they need, remind yourself of the emotions behind the behaviors. An additional layer of difficulty may be in simply accepting the need for care altogether, something that … Read More »



How to Manage Feeling Unappreciated as a Caregiver

These three simple steps can help if you’re feeling unappreciated as a caregiver.

From the moment you started your day until its end, you’ve dedicated yourself entirely to the well-being of an older loved one. Your tasks ranged from assisting with daily activities to managing appointments and household chores, all performed with love and dedication. Yet, the acknowledgment you deserve is often absent, leaving you feeling unappreciated as a caregiver. Left unchecked, this can lead to caregiver burnout or depression.

If you’re experiencing this, know that you’re not alone. Here are some tips to help navigate and address the challenge of feeling unappreciated in your caregiving role.

1. Practice Self-Appreciation:

Acknowledge the importance of the work you’re doing and prioritize self-appreciation. Take a moment each week to reward yourself for a job well done. It … Read More »



How Should You Respond to Aggressive Behaviors in Dementia?

Remember the six R’s when responding to aggressive behaviors in dementia.

Of the many challenging behaviors common in Alzheimer’s, probably the most complicated to manage is aggression. A senior who has always been mild-mannered can abruptly lash out in outbursts that are truly alarming: hitting, cursing, kicking, yelling, biting, or throwing objects. How can you, as a family caregiver, safely help restore a sense of calm when confronted with aggressive behaviors in dementia?

To start with, remind yourself that the aggression is a consequence of the disease. It is not something the older adult can control, and it is not intentional. That said, it must be defused to keep both you and the senior safe from harm.

“The 6 R’s of Managing Difficult Behavior,” developed by Dr. Peter Rabins and Nancy Mace in their book The 36-Hour Day, … Read More »



Caregiver Anger: I Never Expected to Feel So Angry About Caring for Aging Parents!

If you’re feeling angry about dealing with aging parents, know that you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to help. Contact us for help.

If you were to detail the top 5 emotions you encounter in meeting the caregiving needs of your aging parents, what would they be? Maybe you would first think of emotions like compassion, love, and sometimes, even frustration or stress. Would caregiver anger make the list? In many cases, though family caretakers wouldn’t wish to admit it, it’s quite common to feel angry about caring for aging parents. Read on to learn more about caregiver anger, and reach out to Hired Hands Homecare for the support you need to step away to care for yourself!



Concerned It Might Be Dementia? Here’s How to Bring It Up to the Doctor.

You may be afraid to talk with the doctor if you’re concerned it might be dementia, but these tips can help.

Distress. Embarrassment. Fear. If you’re concerned it might be dementia, the feelings surrounding a potential diagnosis can force you to keep your suspicions to yourself. An  AARP survey peeled away some of the layers of emotion to find the reason – namely, worry over losing independence and becoming a burden to others.

While there is some truth to these worries, there are also some misconceptions fueling them. As an example, roughly 1/2 of the participants, who were adults age 40 and over, believe they’re likely to get dementia as they grow older. The truth is that just over 10% of older adults over age 65 are identified as having Alzheimer’s disease.

Because of this, it’s critical for … Read More »



What Can You Do When Family Members Refuse to Help With Senior Care?

If your family members refuse to help with senior care for a loved one, there are effective ways to get the help you need!

If you find yourself handling all of the care responsibilities for an aging parent while your siblings distance themselves from offering help, you’re not alone. In fact, as many as one out of every two family caregivers are taking care of an aging loved one on their own, according to a recent report from AARP. What can you do when family members refuse to help with senior care?

There are several reasons why siblings may shy away from supporting you in the care you’re providing. We’ve compiled the most common, along with what you can do to remedy the situation.

They don’t realize there’s a need for help. It may very well be that from … Read More »



Dementia Delusions: How to Respond to False Accusations

Dementia delusions can lead to false accusations, and it’s important to know how to respond.

Dementia delusions can come seemingly out of thin air: you place your loved one’s favorite chicken salad sandwich in front of her – light on the mayo, no onions – something she typically enjoys. But today, she pushes the plate away and will not take a bite, insisting that you’ve poisoned the food.

Or, you’ve provided your loved one with a meaningful activity that links her to a significant time in her past career, sorting paperwork. Out of the blue, she accuses you of tampering with the documents in order to steal money from her banking account.

How can you respond to dementia delusions or hallucinations without further agitating the person? Try these strategies:

Keep a controlled, soothing, understanding tone. It might be instinctive … Read More »



How to Effectively Handle the Extreme Emotions of Alzheimer’s

Screaming, crying, and other extreme emotions of Alzheimer’s can unnerve even the most seasoned family caregiver.

Of the many and varied challenging behaviors someone with Alzheimer’s may experience and display, perhaps the most heartbreaking is uncontrollable screaming and/or crying. Seeing a person you love in an inconsolable state of mind, and being completely unsure how to help or to understand what’s causing these extreme emotions of Alzheimer’s, is both painful and frustrating. How can you help a loved one with dementia feel calmer?

To begin with, realize that crying and yelling in dementia can occur as the result of:

Pain
Fear
Boredom
Sadness
Agitation
Frustration
Delusions, delirium, or hallucinations
Sundowning
An uncomfortable environment
Or a number of other factors

For the short-term, try these strategies to help:

Stay calm yourself, speaking to the senior in a soft, soothing tone of voice.
Try to uncover what’s causing the outburst. Maintaining a … Read More »



Help for When You Can’t Live Up to Your Aging Parents’ Expectations

When you can’t live up to your aging parents’ expectations, these tips can help.

In an ideal world, we could manage to perfectly compartmentalize our caregiving duties, staying with a routine that met your aging parents’ expectations, while allowing enough time to take care of our assortment of other responsibilities. But needless to say, life doesn’t follow our desired script, and conflicting needs are frequent when caring for an aging parent. Many older adults resist the need for help, while others may come to depend too heavily on an adult child, leading to unfulfilled expectations and ultimately disappointment for both parties.

Hired Hands Homecare’s aging care professionals provide the following tips to help clarify expectations and communicate successfully:

Focus on empathy. As opposed to pulling away from an older loved one whose expectations seem unrealistic, stop and empathize. Think … Read More »



Tips to Make the Most From Family Senior Care Meetings

Make family senior care meetings more productive and efficient with these tips.

“It takes a village” was never a more accurate statement than when taking care of an older family member. It’s important for that “village” to have effective, ongoing communication so that you can offer the best care and to make sure everyone taking part in that care is on the same page. It’s also critical for family caregivers to have the opportunity to express concerns and to come together to get to resolutions, to share various perspectives, and to continue to be proactive in preparing for the future.

Holding senior family care meetings that produce good outcomes includes thinking through the following:

Who should always be included – and who should not? Unquestionably, those providing direct or indirect care for the senior loved one should attend, as … Read More »






Contact Us to Learn More!

Want to find out more about our senior care in California and how it can improve safety, comfort, and independence at home? Contact us at (866) 940-4343 to request a free in-home consultation to learn more about our customized care solutions in Novato, Pleasanton, Santa Rosa, Napa, Sonoma, and the surrounding areas.


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